Ah Ha Moment

My thoughts are racing more than usual. Maybe its fear, anticipation, excitement, joy, realization, understanding,  or simply just accepting that I'm going to follow and live out my Ah Ha moment that I realized tonight. Not that everything in my life will change tomorrow but a change is under way and its the first time in awhile that everything feels so clear and peaceful. Would you believe that earlier today I had an anxiety attack? Work has been really stressful and when I let myself get overwhelmed anxiety attacks happen. (This started last year for me and was my first eye opener to real life work stress).

The kicker is it happened the same week that I'm taking Meditation 101 with Ashley Turner. And I believe its fate because after feeling overwhelmed at work, I was able to remind myself of helpful tips I had been learning all week and I decided to do some yoga while attempting to watch as many of the meditation videos I could before they expired. (I had 24 hours from the time they were posted to watch them but found that when I opened the URL before they expired that I could watch them even after expiration. It worked for most of them but all of a sudden some of them stopped showing and as I looked for one that would, I landed on Meditation & Epigentics with Bruce Lipton and that is where my Ah Ha moment happened. 

Everything he said made perfect sense and clicked so well. Our mind has two parts, our conscious mind and our subconscious mind. Our conscious mind is what drives our hopes, dreams, goals and our subconscious mind relies on patterns and routine behavior. The crazy part that stuck is he said "We only live in our conscious mind (the past and future thinking) 5% of the time and our subconscious (present) mind the rest". First question that came to my mind after hearing this, our routine patterns that are instilled in us early on in life is what my life is constantly lived in? I have a hard time living in the subconscious moment which is the true moment where life exists, it is the present. The difference between the conscious mind and subconscious mind is that the conscious mind has the ability to think in past and future tense, where as the subconscious mind only lives in the present. Wouldn't you like to train and understand the patterns that are carried out from our subconscious mind if so much of our everyday life is spent in it? The good news, meditation is our key to connect with the subconscious mind which is what majority of our life is lived in. When Bruce started listing out the times he found himself meditating before he was aware of it, it brought awareness to my own life about how capable we are of connecting with our inner voice at times we wouldn't expect. For instance something as simple as doing the dishes can be an example of a task we do to connect in that moment. This realization has given me a desire unlike any before, I need to connect to my inner voice. I need to go on a spiritual journey and find that connection so I can fulfill my true life's desires.

So I figured out what I need but now comes the tough part of how I will make that happen. I work in Corporate America and have a good job. I have been growing in my role over the past 2 years and have developed useful skills that will lead me to greater opportunities. I have been living my dream job for 2 years simply because I am supporting the non-profit part of a huge organization, Cisco. My life's purpose is to give back and help others. I find true happiness when the work I am doing is benefiting others. So how do I leave a life I love so much to go out and do something I believe is necessary for my own well being? Well that's the fun part.. Scary? A little but it's time to figure it out now and I plan on doing that here in a space where I will allow myself to be open and bare it all because there is no reason to hide it. I accept myself for who I am and I'm going to be extremely blunt and honest and let out everything I feel.

I'm a happy person now but I have my insecurities and moments where I get depressed and unsure about life.I think its important I share some context to how my life has been going the past few months to lead to where I am today. 

So let me back up a little.. In July 2013 I went on a life changing trip for an organization called CISV, I was the leader for a US delegation of four 11-year olds (2 boys, 2 girls). I was responsible for taking them Denmark for a month to create global friendships, bring peace awareness, and teach human rights between 13 different countries. The experience was incredible and forever something I will cherish. The friends I have made continue to be part of my daily life and I couldn't be more thankful for them. Nikki, Pamela ,& Julia thank you for the daily support and constant inspiration.

 Building global friendships between 13 countries, 52 delegates, 13 leaders, 6 jcs, 5 staff and 1 village for a month. You be You Village

In August-November after returning back to reality life got a little different. I was on a high of my trip and I had met a stranger in a bar on our leaders night out. Anyways this guy couldn't have been more my type. I'm a sucker for blonde hair and blue eyes, always have been. But the thing about him is he had the bad boy persona image but continued to show interest and talk to me after I left. Klaus's sweet talking sucked me in so hard so quick that I felt as if I had fallen in love. We talked everyday, he was the first person I talked to in the morning and last person I talked to before bed. We talked about our future and when we would be together. I had booked a trip back there for 3 weeks to spend Christmas with his family. He had started looking into work visas and jobs here. I was switching up a life I thought I'd always have for something so spontaneous and unexpected. For four months we talked everyday and skyped for up to 3 hours at a time. My infatuation with Klaus was not healthy but I was so sucked in that even if you told me how silly I was being I wouldn't have listened. 

I'm not the type to listen when my mind is set on something. I've always been that way. I'm extremely driven to complete something I set my mind to. It's a good thing though because it teaches me  Maybe I was trying to prove to myself that I could have the ultimate fairytale? Maybe it was because I was gullible and got sucked into words. Maybe it was the fact he lived in a different country which meant I had the possibility of another check on my bucket list, live in another country. 

Long story short it didn't work out with Klaus and after I freaked out and realized how crazy it all was, he sent two final texts saying it won't work. He had a new girlfriend within a week. 

Anyways, I'm thankful it happened because it taught me a lot and I will openly admit I have never been so heartbroken over something. Sounds silly but the pain I felt was not something I'm used to and as much as I tried it took me a bit to get back to my normal self. Normally I find the good in every situation, stay positive and live as if everyday is the best day of my life. I get excited and energized off little things and this heartbreak really shook me. 

The reason it happened doesn't matter because it happened and that's how life works, things happen. You live life and things happen. You can't beat yourself up over something that happens, you simply learn from it. You can't go through life too careful or you'll never learn how you get up when your knocked down. That's what defines you. 

December and January were adjusting back to figuring out where my life was going. I'm a planner and after thinking I was living out an unexpected plan, it took me a minute to get focused again. One of my best friend's Setahrae and I signed up for a yoga teacher certification that upcoming March-July. It's been a bucket list item for me and something I have always wanted to pursue. Having that in the future was exactly what I needed to get back to my normal self. I even took up a dating app as a way to meet more guys and get my mind off Klaus. It wasn't long before I realized just how many other fish in the sea there are. Life doesn't stop just because things don't go as planned. You have to find your rhythm again. 

One of my goals for 26 was to finally move out of my parents house. My home life was great because my work had an office in my hometown and whenever I had the urge to travel I had that option. Not to mention my parents are the best roommates, so happy, loving, and fun all the time. I had no complaints living at home but it came to the point where I knew I needed to embark on a new chapter. I love the freedom that comes with living on your own and believe it's the ultimate learning experience for growing up.

I've been able to enjoy my 26th year of life exactly as I should be, meeting new people, trying new things and embarking on a new chapter. I made the move to San Francisco on March 2, 2014 and couldn't be happier with the decision. Its a magical experience that I have to continue to remind myself is real. It feels like getting a new chance to create my best life possible. Life is so cool because we always have the ability to change what we don't like or add in what we want. You have to be open to this idea and realize that fostering positive thoughts are the necessary tool for living out the best life possible. Negativity brings no good what so ever. Leave the judgement behind and accept anyone and everyone for who they are. Life is not easy by any means so there is no point in making it harder. Moral of it all; stay positive.

Russian Hill's newest resident. I feel beyond blessed waking up to this view every morning.

Its about time I give an update!

Wow... Its been awhile since I've posted. I've always wanted to be a blogger but I can't say thats been the case. Its funny, because I always think about how much I want to write but just never do.

Where to even start... First and foremost I completed my goal of 25 countries by the age of 25! It was such a surreal moment to realize something I wanted for so long (15 years) really happened! Especially because obtaining this goal wasn't easy nor was it cheap!! But I did it and the best part, I funded my way through majority of it with a little help from my amazing family. My family wanted to see me reach my goal so I greatly fully appreciate all their support to get there. The last 4 countries were iffy for a awhile but thankfully, my friend Ashley talked some sense into a few months prior and pumped me up to accomplish my goal. That same friend flew to Canada with me for the weekend to hit country 2-5! (#25by25;))

^ I need to go into more detail about that trip and post pictures --- which I am promising myself I will do.

So something I've realized to be true again and again is.. If you follow your passion in life your journey will never fail to surprise you.  (So whats holding you back?Do you do what you love?Are you satisfied?Are you passionate about what you do?) Because the answer should be "YES" and if its not... I would reevaluate because you're never going to be your happiest self if you aren't doing what you love.

It amazes me how blessed I have been in this life. I can honestly say I am living my dream life but I think a lot of the reason for it is because I have always followed passion. Unlike graduating and looking for a job.. I knew I wanted to travel and make my goal so while all my friends entered the real world, I continued as a nanny for a year while I traveled. After returning from my two month backing trip with my dad,  I met my friends mom who was inspired by my love of traveling and invited me to go to Indonesia with Cisco for the Developing Local Talent in Technology Workshop. So after only being home for a month I was off again and was able to hit three more countries-- Indonesia, Singapore and Malaysia.

Anyways after returning home, I was invited to join my friends mom team with a group of MBA students for an internship for 3 months. My contract got extended 3 times and I have continued since. I truly feel like I landed my dream position.. Well maybe not my dream position but the area I am working in is where I've always wanted to work which is the non-profit part of a company specializing in CSR (corporate social responsibility). Knowing that the work I do helps others, gives me so much fulfillment each day.

Moral of the story -- I've always followed my passion for traveling and I couldn't be happier.

This also leads up to my latest opportunity which I will go into details about at a different time....

Life as I know it

I have been home for the last month and finally adjusted back to reality. Well I think my reality is pretty nice right now.. It's kind of a constant vacation.. I am taking full advantage of enjoying every minute of it before I secure a full time 8-5/m-f position. I am waiting to hear back from an internship that would start in June.. June is basically my deadline until real life begins. Thankfully with my nanny job I have always had an income which has made everything work out. Its a pretty sweet deal right now but a change is to come. But until I enter the real world I might as well fulfill some other goals of mine.. Getting to my fittest self.

I finally joined a gym again. The last gym I belonged to was the Arc at Davis which ended in June 2011.. I got a really good deal at 24 so I signed up and have actually surprised myself with how commited  I have been to going. I don't know why but June is my deadline for a lot of things. I am giving myself till June to get back into shape. (Back to my normal/fitting all my clothes state -- to get to my fittest self I'll allow some extra time) All of the traveling I have done the last few months has been a real treat and I splurged quite a bit.. Which was to be expected because I'm not going to deny myself food in other countries but I wasn't working out the way I should of been. Especially since I enjoyed so many goodies while abroad. But being back in the gym and doing classes feels amazing and I know the results will come in no time. I think having a positive mindset for it all yields greater results. I got a personal trainer for the first time so I could learn how to use the TRX training. Which after one time I have never been so sore! It is an absolutely AMAZING total body work out. My abs have been sore everyday this week which is motivating me to keep it up.

So far this weeks work outs have included -
Monday - personal training - TRX one hour.
Tuesday - hour of cardio + body pump
Wednesday - boot camp
Thursday - hour of cardio / 2 circuits of TRX abs
Friday - boot camp + 45 mins cardio

I am planning on going hiking tomorrow too. Saturday is going to be a major cheat day because its my friends Erika's bachelorette!! We are having a bbq potluck in the afternoon and the night will be followed with nothing but fun for the bride to be! I can't wait but am definitely going to need to go hard the following week to make up for the day/night.. Erika's wedding is memorial day weekend so thats another good motivation to reach my goal by June.

Getting into shape is easy if you truly want it. Eat healthy and work out hard. Its as simple as that. I know there are a ton of temptations that come along with it all but never forget mind over matter. Or do what I do and go to the Pinterest - fitness section.. That always gives you a good push to get to the gym. Another helpful tip is brining your friends on board with you and keeping each other motivated. A few of my friends and I send motivation to each other throughout the day. Keeping the right mindset is the bases to obtaining any goal however big or small it is.

A guest blogger

I was asked a month ago by Melanie if she could present a piece on my blog. I was more than happy to let her so here it is. Its very fitting for the way I believe one should live their life. Enjoy her piece. Its very inspiring!


Journal Writing as Personal Inspiration
By Melanie Bowen

For many people, writing a personal journal is a way to explore their thoughts and feelings about their daily activities or simply a way to keep track of past memorable events that have occurred within their life. However, a journal can also be a place to write about your dreams, ambitions or goals for your future as well.  If you watched the move, “The Bucket List,” you have an idea of what can be accomplished if you allow yourself to dream into the future.

Your Personal Bucket List

Your personal journal is a great place to come up with your own personal bucket list.  This does not need to be a list you share with anyone else, so it can be as silly, elaborate or simple as you like.  A personal bucket list is a list of things that you want to accomplish.  You can make your list of things you want to achieve within in the next year, the next five years or over the entire course of your life.  It does not really matter what those things are, as long as you write them down and they have meaning to you.

Writing down your personal bucket list is important because somehow psychologically, writing something down gives weight and importance to your aspirations.  As humans, we value what we write down; writing down your bucket list also gives you the ability to go back and look at it from time to time for inspiration.  You may decide that you want to add things to your list as your life changes.  You may also have a profound sense of satisfaction as you cross things off your list because you have accomplished them.  In fact, accomplishing one thing on your bucket list may inspire you to add related things to accomplish in the future.

The Need to Look Forward

Writing down your personal bucket list can serve many purposes.  For many people, it is a place they can turn to when they get frustrated with life.  It gives them something to look forward to and think about for the future. If one of the things on your bucket list is to see Venice and ride in a gondola, when you get frustrated or depressed, you can mentally visit Venice in your mind and think of the things you need to do to make your dream trip a reality.

Having a list of things to accomplish can also be a wonderful motivator to actually accomplish those things. This can be especially true if you are looking for things to keep you motivated to keep moving forward.  There are times in life when it is simply hard to keep going.  For instance, if you are facing a challenging illness like mesothelioma or you have lost a spouse or someone you love, it can be tempting to just sit down and give up.  But if you have a list of things you want to accomplish, then it gives you a reason to keep going and moving forward. Even if your prognosis seems grim, you can write down hopes for the future to give you drive to keep moving on to defeat your illness and live a happy life.

Another check on the bucket list

I am going to start making this blog as just a tracker of my life for my own personal use. If I have readers awesome, if not I'm enjoying the reminder of my thoughts and experiences through life. 

Traveling completely alone has always been something I have wanted to do but never truly done.. Yes I have traveled with a friend, parent, organization, group etc but never just me! But today I can say I am! 

A few weeks ago I was invited on an amazing opportunity to go to Indonesia with Cisco's MEDI (Middle Eastern Diversity & Inclusion) group for their fifth Developing Local Talent in Technology (DLTT) workshop. There were four tracks in IP telephony, wireless, security & Professional Development. I was apart of the Professional Development track and led some of the activities. It was an incredible learning experience and fun first business trip! I am excited to see where my path will lead from this. I was able to extend my network and have made some very good connections with a few Cisco managers. My resume has now been submitted for their internship program which I hope I am picked for for this upcoming summer. 

The trip taught me a lot about Cisco in general and it is definitely a company I would love to work for and feel am a good fit for. Who knows what will happened but regardless the experience was one of a kind and a wonderful opportunity. 

Since I traveled the 22 hours to Indonesia I knew I couldn't just visit there, especially if I want to meet my 25 by 25 goal. So three of us headed to Singapore for 3 days after the workshop. The other two- Sima & Jasmin left at 4 am this morning to begin their 30 hour journey home. They are flying back to Jakarta and then have a layover until they get on their flight home. 

So now I am all alone in Singapore. The check out at our hotel was noon so I was able to sleep in, workout with a Jackie video, repack, and get ready for the day. It was a perfect morning for me to prepare myself for being on my own. I have so many nerves of excitement running through me right now. This past week when I was in Indonesia I got sick my last weekend and it gave me bad nerves/anxiety for traveling solo but thankfully now that I am better all those feelings have disappeared and been replaced solely with excitement! I feel so grateful to be accomplishing so many things I have set for myself to do. 

I have an hour to kill before I'm taking the causeway to Johor Bahru, Malaysia so figured blogging would be a great time filler. 

I will be couchsurfing for my first time alone without my dad by my side. The guy I am staying with is Shaun and he is 26. He had a lot of positive reviews and we seem to have similar views on life so I'm looking forward to meeting him. 

Once I get over the causeway (its about an hour in a bus) I will go through immigrations and then go to a McDonalds nearby and wait for Shaun to pick me up. I have recently found out Johor Bahru isn't that great so I might shorten my stay and take a bus to the capital, Kuala Lumpur for a few days before starting my journey home. I fly from Singapore back to Jakarta on Sunday and then have a night before my flight home. I leave Monday at 2:30 from Jakarta and return to the US Monday at 6:40 at night. Right when my body is fully adjusting to the time difference (15 hours ahead of US) I will be back to my regular time zone.

I am looking forward to the next few days but am also looking forward to going home too. Its amazing how much I miss cooking when I'm gone. Sleeping in my own bed will be a big plus too! :) 

Okay well thats just a little update of my life lately! Enjoy and happy travels. 

 

Wow I'm not that good at keeping up on this yet huh?

I guess I need to regroup after my trip and get back into a routine that will give me the time to just blog. But I do think about this blog a lot and thoughts always cross my mind about it.

Something I've learned to live without over the last few years is negativity.. I find negativity is not a necessity of life. If its around you -- rid yourself of it. It does nothing good for you. I constantly try to remind myself of the positive things in life -- things I should be grateful for in high stress situations.

Life has a funny way of always working out! At times when it seems like rock bottom something will change -- you will get a new mindset about whatever it is, you'll meet someone new in your life, an opportunity will present itself, the problem will dissolve on its own -- something will change. Positivity will always overpower the negative parts of life in the end.

Okay this is short but I just want to get something out there. I'm not sure the real direction I want to take on this blog yet.. Its a work in progress.

The wonderful life of being in Montezuma!

Today has been simply amazing. I am in the coolest town so far this trip -- Montezuma, Costa Rica! It is a surfer, hippie, beach town with the most incredible waterfalls all within walking/hiking distance!

I started my morning with breakfast at my hotel El Sano Banano. I had yogurt, fruit, granola and coffee! It was the perfect start to my day. After I got changed and my dad and I went off in search of the waterfalls. We were told to just walk 15 mins up the road and then to a path that leads to the first big waterfall. Luckily we met a local while we were going over and he showed us the way to go. He also took us to the next two waterfalls that included a crazy hike up the mountain. A hike that included extremely steep parts, using branches to keep a balance, outstanding beauty and so much fun. I felt so adventurous and enjoyed every minute of it. The next waterfall was above the first and on top of that was another smaller one with a rope swing and mini lagoon to swim.

I immediately tried the rope swing but it definitely took a few tries before I got it right. My dad climbed up the rope swing which was very impressive. We also got to jump off the waterfall. The local we met - Danny took me up the lake more to a spot where the waterfall pours on you and hits you like a massage. You can go into it and behind it and sit in it. It is pretty fantastic! I could not wipe the smile from my face! It is definitely one of those moments in life I will never forget. It honestly was incredible the beauty all around me and just the fact that I was sitting with a waterfall pouring on top of me was truly incredible! :)

Danny was also kind enough to go back down to my backpack and get my camera so I could capture this place. He is used to climbing up and down the rocks and made it down there much faster then I could have. It was great too because I love taking pictures of memories I never want to forget.

This is the spot where the waterfall is kinda like a massage

Around 12 we headed back to our hotel so my dad could take his medicine and watch sunday football. It worked out great though because I wanted to get lunch in and promised one of the hotel clerks earlier I'd go back to the waterfall again when he was off at 2. I had a caprese salad at the hotel which is just the fuel I need to go venture back to the waterfalls! I was debating between going back to the waterfalls or surfing but waterfalls win. We are enjoying our stay in Montezuma so much that we will be extending it a few more days.

This is one place I would highly recommend anyone to visit. Everyone is so friendly and relaxed about life. It is a wonderful atmosphere and the options around here are endless for fun. (beach, hikes, atvs, zip lines, surf, waterfalls, yoga etc)

Okay since I wrote all of the above we have visited the waterfalls 3 more times! Each time being just as amazing as the first. We also moved to a new hotel and met a wonderful addition to our group Alison Sleet! We have spent every second together since we have met. Its crazy how some people you meet can feel as if you have known them forever! That is Alison to a tee! We also hang out with Stefan a guy who worked at our first hotel whenever he is not working.

Alison, My Dad and I 

The four of us have enjoyed late nights on our balcony with wine, music and good conversation. We all get along as if we have been friends for much longer then 3 days! It is awesome and might truly be the most fun part of this trip. My dad is in agreement with me here because of how well we have all clicked and fun we've had.

Ali and I did a yoga class the other day which was so wonderful and exactly what I needed. I also learned Ali is a certified yoga instructor and has been helping me with doing a headstand and teaching me correct form for everything. It is great! We have made it a point to lay on the beach for a few hours each day as well. She has been the perfect girlfriend for the last portion of the trip.

Tonight is our last night in Montezuma because we need to start making our way to Panama so we can make our flight! I know its still almost a week away but we have just learned that all direct buses from San Jose to Panama City are sold out! Which is resulting in taking chicken buses all the way down. Which exacts a lot longer of the initial 15 hour journey. We are estimating it to be about a two day journey.

But for our last night -- Ali, Stefan, Marky Mark and I will be having a bond fire on the beach with smores and all! I am very excited but am sad at the same time! I really will miss them but look forward to the day we all have a reunion.

So tomorrow the journey begins -- we are leaving at 4 am from Montezuma in a taxi -- to a bus that will take us -- to a ferry -- then another bus -- arrive San Jose (probably around 10am-- taxi to another bus station -- bus to Pasocanos (8 hour bus ride with stops).. Find a place to stay for the night and continue the journey in the morning. Pasocanos is close to the Panama border and then we will have about 6 hours left to Panama city.

When we arrive somewhere I will be adding pictures to the above.