I've always wanted to live abroad. I love to travel more than anything else. I've always wanted to teach yoga and find a way to make money helping others. I love to volunteer. These are facts about me that you would easily pick up on when you first meet me.
So what am I doing about it?
I have broken into the yoga space and created a site to promote myself and my passion. Check out my new site here!
I've always wanted to lead wellness retreats so with the help of a friend we have finally lead our first one. The retreat itself could not have been more perfect. I am so inspired by our weekend and look forward to leading more retreats in the future. My friend, Maggie, took the lead on putting together our first retreat, check out the video and details here!
And the best of all.. I am quitting my corporate job at the end of October and taking a year off to travel the world. It is my goal to update this blog and my other site with the adventure. Be sure to check back in to see the checks I add on my bucket list and the new countries I visit.
Don't let your dreams be only dreams, go after them and live the life of your dreams!
Namaste,
Meg
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
5 Best Moments
My mom never wants gifts for Christmas, instead she always asks my brothers and I to share our good deeds of the year and favorite moments. This year she asked us to share our five greatest moments in life. I love this game because its a fun story telling time for each of us to go around and share. I've put a lot of thought into my five best moments thus far and its hard to just pick 5 but here goes..
These are not ranked in order because narrowing it to only five was hard enough.
1. Completing my goal of 25 by 25. My love of traveling has grown with every trip and new experience. I hunger for the urge to break away every so often and escape the day to day grind of American life. To wake up in a foreign place and be the minority. To explore new territory and meet new people.
2. Going to U.C. Davis and graduating. This experience shaped me because it was the first time I was off on my own in a new town. It was exactly what I needed to feel like I was growing up. I got to be independent and manage on my own. I found out more about who I was from Davis and the hippy in me was really released. I connected with the earth, nature, people, clubs, all while gaining a valuable education. Camp Kesem will forever be my most cherished moments in life. I learned a different kind of strength, from so many young children who have suffered great loses. All the children were so brave and bundles of joy to be around. The camp connected each and every one of us in a deep bond that will never be forgotten. I can forever think back on Davis, California as my early 20's stomping grounds and all the wonderful memories. I feel blessed to have graduated from such a great school.
3. Backpacking in Central America for 7 weeks with my Dad. I learned a lot about my Dad and our travel styles. I will also cherish these memories long after he is gone and reflect back on how lucky I am to have taken such a trip with their father. You grow from every trip in life and this one tested our patience to trust that not everything goes as planned but it always works out. That is my life motto and never stops ringing true.
4. Going to Thailand to volunteer. Those two weeks were so humbling and life changing. The perspective I gained from others realities in the outskirts of Thailand were eye opening, humbling, envious, grateful. Each travel teaches us more and more and our perspective of the world and this life is shaped.
5. Going to Indonesia with Cisco. This trip was the doorway to my career at Cisco. It was another volunteer trip, centered around teaching students of the future in technology.
6. My upcoming trip to India to fulfill a few bucket items will be a life changing adventure. I can't wait to see the doors it opens and the places I reach in my mind.
I have to follow this up with the five things I'm grateful for:
1. My health. So often people take for granite the simple fact that they are alive and breathing and that right there is something to celebrate. Anytime I get sick, I am reminded just how lucky it is to be healthy and have that in your favor. I am extremely grateful and admire everyone who goes through health problems. They are the real super heroes in human form. Their strength to live life fully with a health complication deserves a bravo.
2.My family. My backbone is my everything. Knowing I can turn to my family for anything is the most honoring feeling. I am beyond grateful to have such a loving family.
3.My drive. I know that this is my life and in order to accomplish the goals I want to accomplish, I have to make it happen. If there's a way there's a will. Everything is possible. Get to the point of sacrificing all that you know to get what you want. Everything works out.
4. My friends. I am beyond blessed with the friends I can turn to in any situation. They are the family I picked. I've been granted so many wonderful souls to have deep connections with and am forever grateful for these individuals.
5. My life. Every bump, everyday, everything that has been thrown my way because it has taken me to this point of where I am now and it is where I've always dreamed to be. I am content at 26 and I am happy. I am going places and I have been places. I know that the best part of it all is that some of my greatest days in life have yet to happen. I can't wait! :)
These are not ranked in order because narrowing it to only five was hard enough.
1. Completing my goal of 25 by 25. My love of traveling has grown with every trip and new experience. I hunger for the urge to break away every so often and escape the day to day grind of American life. To wake up in a foreign place and be the minority. To explore new territory and meet new people.
2. Going to U.C. Davis and graduating. This experience shaped me because it was the first time I was off on my own in a new town. It was exactly what I needed to feel like I was growing up. I got to be independent and manage on my own. I found out more about who I was from Davis and the hippy in me was really released. I connected with the earth, nature, people, clubs, all while gaining a valuable education. Camp Kesem will forever be my most cherished moments in life. I learned a different kind of strength, from so many young children who have suffered great loses. All the children were so brave and bundles of joy to be around. The camp connected each and every one of us in a deep bond that will never be forgotten. I can forever think back on Davis, California as my early 20's stomping grounds and all the wonderful memories. I feel blessed to have graduated from such a great school.
3. Backpacking in Central America for 7 weeks with my Dad. I learned a lot about my Dad and our travel styles. I will also cherish these memories long after he is gone and reflect back on how lucky I am to have taken such a trip with their father. You grow from every trip in life and this one tested our patience to trust that not everything goes as planned but it always works out. That is my life motto and never stops ringing true.
4. Going to Thailand to volunteer. Those two weeks were so humbling and life changing. The perspective I gained from others realities in the outskirts of Thailand were eye opening, humbling, envious, grateful. Each travel teaches us more and more and our perspective of the world and this life is shaped.
5. Going to Indonesia with Cisco. This trip was the doorway to my career at Cisco. It was another volunteer trip, centered around teaching students of the future in technology.
6. My upcoming trip to India to fulfill a few bucket items will be a life changing adventure. I can't wait to see the doors it opens and the places I reach in my mind.
I have to follow this up with the five things I'm grateful for:
1. My health. So often people take for granite the simple fact that they are alive and breathing and that right there is something to celebrate. Anytime I get sick, I am reminded just how lucky it is to be healthy and have that in your favor. I am extremely grateful and admire everyone who goes through health problems. They are the real super heroes in human form. Their strength to live life fully with a health complication deserves a bravo.
2.My family. My backbone is my everything. Knowing I can turn to my family for anything is the most honoring feeling. I am beyond grateful to have such a loving family.
3.My drive. I know that this is my life and in order to accomplish the goals I want to accomplish, I have to make it happen. If there's a way there's a will. Everything is possible. Get to the point of sacrificing all that you know to get what you want. Everything works out.
4. My friends. I am beyond blessed with the friends I can turn to in any situation. They are the family I picked. I've been granted so many wonderful souls to have deep connections with and am forever grateful for these individuals.
5. My life. Every bump, everyday, everything that has been thrown my way because it has taken me to this point of where I am now and it is where I've always dreamed to be. I am content at 26 and I am happy. I am going places and I have been places. I know that the best part of it all is that some of my greatest days in life have yet to happen. I can't wait! :)
Friday, May 30, 2014
Judgement
I always find it funny when I hear comments from my friends that I over share on instagram or do something that does not align with this invisible guide of how life should be lived or instagram should be used. Well the things is.. I do it for me, to know how many weeks its been since I did something, for my love of numbers, to reference my life, to see my map populate with pictures of place I've been, for the filters, for the things that make me happy; I do it because I want to and because I like it. Shouldn't that be reason enough? Who controls this mindset of what we can and can't do? Shouldn't we be the controller of it? Is there a rule book somewhere that states: you should only post a picture if this criteria is met? Sure likes are an added bonus and make you feel better about your post but can't we just live with the mindset of being content with what we want to do at the time? No one is obligated to follow you. We are empowered with countless options to take control of situations we don't want to be in but do we always do that? It seems as if we fall into this pattern of complaining or using judgement as a way to deal with our frustrations instead of just connecting with our inner selves and being our own source of happiness.
Why does life have to be filled with so much judgement and concern of what others are doing around us? Why is that social media is only fueling this and still we find ourselves addicted? Why is this behavior okay?
Do we judge because we are jealous? To make ourselves feel better? Why does judging someone else empower us to feel better? Why can't we just be happy to be alive and allow others to find that same comfort in being alive and being who they are meant to be.
I want to live in a world where everyone can just be themselves. A world where judgement doesn't exist. There is no contemplating what we want to do just because we wonder how others will see us? You live by your own rules. You do the things that make you happiest and not have to worry about the talk of others. I would want the only rule shared worldwide to be no harm to others.
I want everyone to do what they do because it gives them their ultimate happiness and fulfillment. You are in charge of one person in life: yourself. Imagine what it would be like if our focus was only on one's self? Would it be a better world? Would jealousy exist? Would everyone just be and life just work?
Every person on this planet is unique. Every person experiences different thoughts and feelings which stem from how different life is for any given human. "You should never judge a man until you've walked in his shoes." This quote is true in so many ways. Our experiences in life shape us to be who we are. A negative experience might shape someone in a negative way but another person should never judge that person because they don't have the entire story to judge. We don't know the reason someone is the way they are because we haven't lived as that person. Our struggles and experiences are not written on us for the world to see. They are within us and are only accessed when we share them. Our only judgement should come from within. We are the controller of our lives.
The best thing anyone could do for themselves is to be who you were always meant to be regardless of what anyone thinks. Be you. You is enough.
Why does life have to be filled with so much judgement and concern of what others are doing around us? Why is that social media is only fueling this and still we find ourselves addicted? Why is this behavior okay?
Do we judge because we are jealous? To make ourselves feel better? Why does judging someone else empower us to feel better? Why can't we just be happy to be alive and allow others to find that same comfort in being alive and being who they are meant to be.
I want to live in a world where everyone can just be themselves. A world where judgement doesn't exist. There is no contemplating what we want to do just because we wonder how others will see us? You live by your own rules. You do the things that make you happiest and not have to worry about the talk of others. I would want the only rule shared worldwide to be no harm to others.
I want everyone to do what they do because it gives them their ultimate happiness and fulfillment. You are in charge of one person in life: yourself. Imagine what it would be like if our focus was only on one's self? Would it be a better world? Would jealousy exist? Would everyone just be and life just work?
Every person on this planet is unique. Every person experiences different thoughts and feelings which stem from how different life is for any given human. "You should never judge a man until you've walked in his shoes." This quote is true in so many ways. Our experiences in life shape us to be who we are. A negative experience might shape someone in a negative way but another person should never judge that person because they don't have the entire story to judge. We don't know the reason someone is the way they are because we haven't lived as that person. Our struggles and experiences are not written on us for the world to see. They are within us and are only accessed when we share them. Our only judgement should come from within. We are the controller of our lives.
The best thing anyone could do for themselves is to be who you were always meant to be regardless of what anyone thinks. Be you. You is enough.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Tug a war for one?
**This was written back in November time frame but again was never posted because it was never finished? Am I striving for a perfect post on a blog I created just for me? Does the fact that its public make me think there is certain criteria that should be met before its okay to publish? Well I say enough of this behavior: it's time to just be me. Its time to post these drafts. I'm enjoying reading my thoughts and don't believe I need an entire purpose for a post. Maybe one day someone will stumble across this and something will click for them? Maybe no one ever will. Either way, I am my source of fulfillment.
When we bare it all we don't have much to lose?
Do you ever feel like your thoughts are playing tug a war? That your whole life is one giant rope with a line in the middle and your divided on two sides? And surrounding the rope is emotions, feelings, goals, dreams, expectations, moral compass, ideals, commentary both good & bad, and all of it plays a part in pulling little by little on the rope inching it to one side and then the other but never fully giving up? Sure, there are times when the everyone is tired or distracted and the game is paused or there's other times where I'll find the perfect relaxation which automatically puts my thoughts on time out but those times are at night and usually aided by something green. But then the game starts again and it seems to get more and more intense.
Did I mention this game ties closely to two beings you identify closely with.. The first, is the side that most would consider the brain, to be in control, maybe even safe to say the side where less newborn emotions squirm there way in. The side that has driven you to success and accomplishment in meeting all the expectations you know have been built up around you and are part of the over populated trail that is meant to be walked. The side that your success defines what will be your future and the unknown is less of a visitor. The side that is supported by everyone around you because its what they have done too and navigation is simple because the expected outcome is a neon sign flashing in the far distance so you never fully get lost. The side that happiness is innate but reaching ecstasy is aided with thrills you go out of your way to achieve for a temporary reminder of what ultimate pleasure should be.
But the other side of the rope you've got your heart in control and the maximizing of ones personal pleasure seems to be the driving force. This is the side where your ambitions and passions tug on the rope. The person you feel in your heart you want to be all while tip toeing carefully around the game of life.
The person you know your meant to be without the influence of everything around you that makes you question your risk.. The person that has always been there trying to escape and show themselves every so often. So tightly linked to the goals you set and driver of your wild adventures. The side you know in your heart that will be fun but also the side where you're vulnerable and heartbreak is possible. The side that can crush you.
One day someone walks in and makes you want to drop everything and change your life for them... The person that makes you feel like true love exists and makes your heart bounce by your there name appearing..
Every temptation of the person you have wanted to be is there in front of you. Do you take it? Do you jump? How do you let go everyone on the other side gripping tighter, making tugs when you least expect it..Pulling it closer to one side...
When we bare it all we don't have much to lose?
Do you ever feel like your thoughts are playing tug a war? That your whole life is one giant rope with a line in the middle and your divided on two sides? And surrounding the rope is emotions, feelings, goals, dreams, expectations, moral compass, ideals, commentary both good & bad, and all of it plays a part in pulling little by little on the rope inching it to one side and then the other but never fully giving up? Sure, there are times when the everyone is tired or distracted and the game is paused or there's other times where I'll find the perfect relaxation which automatically puts my thoughts on time out but those times are at night and usually aided by something green. But then the game starts again and it seems to get more and more intense.
Did I mention this game ties closely to two beings you identify closely with.. The first, is the side that most would consider the brain, to be in control, maybe even safe to say the side where less newborn emotions squirm there way in. The side that has driven you to success and accomplishment in meeting all the expectations you know have been built up around you and are part of the over populated trail that is meant to be walked. The side that your success defines what will be your future and the unknown is less of a visitor. The side that is supported by everyone around you because its what they have done too and navigation is simple because the expected outcome is a neon sign flashing in the far distance so you never fully get lost. The side that happiness is innate but reaching ecstasy is aided with thrills you go out of your way to achieve for a temporary reminder of what ultimate pleasure should be.
But the other side of the rope you've got your heart in control and the maximizing of ones personal pleasure seems to be the driving force. This is the side where your ambitions and passions tug on the rope. The person you feel in your heart you want to be all while tip toeing carefully around the game of life.
The person you know your meant to be without the influence of everything around you that makes you question your risk.. The person that has always been there trying to escape and show themselves every so often. So tightly linked to the goals you set and driver of your wild adventures. The side you know in your heart that will be fun but also the side where you're vulnerable and heartbreak is possible. The side that can crush you.
One day someone walks in and makes you want to drop everything and change your life for them... The person that makes you feel like true love exists and makes your heart bounce by your there name appearing..
Every temptation of the person you have wanted to be is there in front of you. Do you take it? Do you jump? How do you let go everyone on the other side gripping tighter, making tugs when you least expect it..Pulling it closer to one side...
Get Naked
**This post was written back in January but never actually posted which seems to be the case with a lot of my posts. I never publish them. I write out my thoughts and keep them as drafts but today when I reflected back I realized that my mindset on how I see life is always the same. So now its time to get these drafts posted because like the title and like my previous post, I have nothing to lose and would rather just put it all out there.
Just start going. Do you ever feel like you just need to let so much out but not? Does that even make sense? Okay lets start again..
I have always said I want to blog, I want to leave a trail for myself to reflect back on one day and with that mindet, writing is so easy. However, I am looking back on some of my posts for the first time and noticed so many errors in my previous post that I thought about editing them but then realized it doesn't matter. Whats done is done. You can take back a moment after it happens, so why do we as humans make the simple mistakes we do? Temporary Satisfaction, fun, influence, expected?
Okay that's off topic. Life these days... I have said this so many times but it keeps ringing to be so true in life... Nothing ever goes as planned but everything always works out perfectly. The reason this is worth writing about is because it was such a life lesson learned. I'm not going into details but my mind, heart, emotions, and life were taken for a 360 degree spin all in a span on 4 months! Imagine having a different mindset that was influenced by what seemed to be the perfect fairy tale. I'm not trying to say anything bad here but trying to give depth or context to the situation on how every thing that happens in life, happens a reason. If the universe does not see it fit, it will not let it happen. Its a little funny because while going through any hard situation sometimes its hard to find out what that reason can be. Sometimes its obvious and for me now the reality is I was taken on a fairytale that was always to good to be true. It was a temporary offset on my journey through life. Anyways..
My plans have been constantly changing and I've realized trying to fight for how its suppose to be is not a battle worth fighting. Every person you meet teaches you something. Every person you meet does not need to stay in your life forever because every lesson is a lesson learned. My mentality has been to go with whats thrown my way and keep a smile.
Okay enough rambling.. I could ramble forever but hey, just imagine being in my mind.. I feel like I have a thousand thoughts a minute.
Anyways for 2014 I've decided to finally go after another item on my bucket list.. One thing I have always wanted to do and when the opportunity presented itself, I took it. I'm taking the SF Loft Yoga Teacher Training Certification in March - July and I could not be more excited for whats to come. One of my best friends and favorite yogi, Setahrae, is taking it as well. We are a great duo in accomplishing our goals, exploring the world and wanting to one day lead yoga retreats and spread the joy we get from doing yoga.
Yoga is a practice that is never fully perfected. Something you will always be a student and always have room for growth. Its a never ending hobby with so much potential. Its my passion. It uses all of your muscles in such a precise way, its beautiful. It's invigorating and challenging. Its a feeling you can always feel empowered for chasing.
Anyway my title, get naked? I thought it was appropriate because I want to join a nudist colony as well this year. Any other takers? Living in the nude with no judgement doesn't sound fun to you?
I'm kidding. I'm not going to do that this year but right on to the people that do it. I support everyone who does what makes them happy.
Okay post ramble.. I mean it in the sense of pushing one out of their comfort zone. Get bare. Make sure to try new things, challenge yourself in new ways, grow and never let it get boring.
I've always been an open book. I have always been a bit hard headed when I get the mindset of doing something and I can be quite stubborn but thats me getting naked and admitting what I know to be true about myself.
Just start going. Do you ever feel like you just need to let so much out but not? Does that even make sense? Okay lets start again..
I have always said I want to blog, I want to leave a trail for myself to reflect back on one day and with that mindet, writing is so easy. However, I am looking back on some of my posts for the first time and noticed so many errors in my previous post that I thought about editing them but then realized it doesn't matter. Whats done is done. You can take back a moment after it happens, so why do we as humans make the simple mistakes we do? Temporary Satisfaction, fun, influence, expected?
Okay that's off topic. Life these days... I have said this so many times but it keeps ringing to be so true in life... Nothing ever goes as planned but everything always works out perfectly. The reason this is worth writing about is because it was such a life lesson learned. I'm not going into details but my mind, heart, emotions, and life were taken for a 360 degree spin all in a span on 4 months! Imagine having a different mindset that was influenced by what seemed to be the perfect fairy tale. I'm not trying to say anything bad here but trying to give depth or context to the situation on how every thing that happens in life, happens a reason. If the universe does not see it fit, it will not let it happen. Its a little funny because while going through any hard situation sometimes its hard to find out what that reason can be. Sometimes its obvious and for me now the reality is I was taken on a fairytale that was always to good to be true. It was a temporary offset on my journey through life. Anyways..
My plans have been constantly changing and I've realized trying to fight for how its suppose to be is not a battle worth fighting. Every person you meet teaches you something. Every person you meet does not need to stay in your life forever because every lesson is a lesson learned. My mentality has been to go with whats thrown my way and keep a smile.
Okay enough rambling.. I could ramble forever but hey, just imagine being in my mind.. I feel like I have a thousand thoughts a minute.
Anyways for 2014 I've decided to finally go after another item on my bucket list.. One thing I have always wanted to do and when the opportunity presented itself, I took it. I'm taking the SF Loft Yoga Teacher Training Certification in March - July and I could not be more excited for whats to come. One of my best friends and favorite yogi, Setahrae, is taking it as well. We are a great duo in accomplishing our goals, exploring the world and wanting to one day lead yoga retreats and spread the joy we get from doing yoga.
Yoga is a practice that is never fully perfected. Something you will always be a student and always have room for growth. Its a never ending hobby with so much potential. Its my passion. It uses all of your muscles in such a precise way, its beautiful. It's invigorating and challenging. Its a feeling you can always feel empowered for chasing.
Anyway my title, get naked? I thought it was appropriate because I want to join a nudist colony as well this year. Any other takers? Living in the nude with no judgement doesn't sound fun to you?
I'm kidding. I'm not going to do that this year but right on to the people that do it. I support everyone who does what makes them happy.
Okay post ramble.. I mean it in the sense of pushing one out of their comfort zone. Get bare. Make sure to try new things, challenge yourself in new ways, grow and never let it get boring.
I've always been an open book. I have always been a bit hard headed when I get the mindset of doing something and I can be quite stubborn but thats me getting naked and admitting what I know to be true about myself.
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Ah Ha Moment
My thoughts are racing more than usual. Maybe its fear, anticipation, excitement, joy, realization, understanding, or simply just accepting that I'm going to follow and live out my Ah Ha moment that I realized tonight. Not that everything in my life will change tomorrow but a change is under way and its the first time in awhile that everything feels so clear and peaceful. Would you believe that earlier today I had an anxiety attack? Work has been really stressful and when I let myself get overwhelmed anxiety attacks happen. (This started last year for me and was my first eye opener to real life work stress).
The kicker is it happened the same week that I'm taking Meditation 101 with Ashley Turner. And I believe its fate because after feeling overwhelmed at work, I was able to remind myself of helpful tips I had been learning all week and I decided to do some yoga while attempting to watch as many of the meditation videos I could before they expired. (I had 24 hours from the time they were posted to watch them but found that when I opened the URL before they expired that I could watch them even after expiration. It worked for most of them but all of a sudden some of them stopped showing and as I looked for one that would, I landed on Meditation & Epigentics with Bruce Lipton and that is where my Ah Ha moment happened.
Everything he said made perfect sense and clicked so well. Our mind has two parts, our conscious mind and our subconscious mind. Our conscious mind is what drives our hopes, dreams, goals and our subconscious mind relies on patterns and routine behavior. The crazy part that stuck is he said "We only live in our conscious mind (the past and future thinking) 5% of the time and our subconscious (present) mind the rest". First question that came to my mind after hearing this, our routine patterns that are instilled in us early on in life is what my life is constantly lived in? I have a hard time living in the subconscious moment which is the true moment where life exists, it is the present. The difference between the conscious mind and subconscious mind is that the conscious mind has the ability to think in past and future tense, where as the subconscious mind only lives in the present. Wouldn't you like to train and understand the patterns that are carried out from our subconscious mind if so much of our everyday life is spent in it? The good news, meditation is our key to connect with the subconscious mind which is what majority of our life is lived in. When Bruce started listing out the times he found himself meditating before he was aware of it, it brought awareness to my own life about how capable we are of connecting with our inner voice at times we wouldn't expect. For instance something as simple as doing the dishes can be an example of a task we do to connect in that moment. This realization has given me a desire unlike any before, I need to connect to my inner voice. I need to go on a spiritual journey and find that connection so I can fulfill my true life's desires.
So I figured out what I need but now comes the tough part of how I will make that happen. I work in Corporate America and have a good job. I have been growing in my role over the past 2 years and have developed useful skills that will lead me to greater opportunities. I have been living my dream job for 2 years simply because I am supporting the non-profit part of a huge organization, Cisco. My life's purpose is to give back and help others. I find true happiness when the work I am doing is benefiting others. So how do I leave a life I love so much to go out and do something I believe is necessary for my own well being? Well that's the fun part.. Scary? A little but it's time to figure it out now and I plan on doing that here in a space where I will allow myself to be open and bare it all because there is no reason to hide it. I accept myself for who I am and I'm going to be extremely blunt and honest and let out everything I feel.
I'm a happy person now but I have my insecurities and moments where I get depressed and unsure about life.I think its important I share some context to how my life has been going the past few months to lead to where I am today.
So I figured out what I need but now comes the tough part of how I will make that happen. I work in Corporate America and have a good job. I have been growing in my role over the past 2 years and have developed useful skills that will lead me to greater opportunities. I have been living my dream job for 2 years simply because I am supporting the non-profit part of a huge organization, Cisco. My life's purpose is to give back and help others. I find true happiness when the work I am doing is benefiting others. So how do I leave a life I love so much to go out and do something I believe is necessary for my own well being? Well that's the fun part.. Scary? A little but it's time to figure it out now and I plan on doing that here in a space where I will allow myself to be open and bare it all because there is no reason to hide it. I accept myself for who I am and I'm going to be extremely blunt and honest and let out everything I feel.
I'm a happy person now but I have my insecurities and moments where I get depressed and unsure about life.I think its important I share some context to how my life has been going the past few months to lead to where I am today.
So let me back up a little.. In July 2013 I went on a life changing trip for an organization called CISV, I was the leader for a US delegation of four 11-year olds (2 boys, 2 girls). I was responsible for taking them Denmark for a month to create global friendships, bring peace awareness, and teach human rights between 13 different countries. The experience was incredible and forever something I will cherish. The friends I have made continue to be part of my daily life and I couldn't be more thankful for them. Nikki, Pamela ,& Julia thank you for the daily support and constant inspiration.
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| Building global friendships between 13 countries, 52 delegates, 13 leaders, 6 jcs, 5 staff and 1 village for a month. You be You Village |
In August-November after returning back to reality life got a little different. I was on a high of my trip and I had met a stranger in a bar on our leaders night out. Anyways this guy couldn't have been more my type. I'm a sucker for blonde hair and blue eyes, always have been. But the thing about him is he had the bad boy persona image but continued to show interest and talk to me after I left. Klaus's sweet talking sucked me in so hard so quick that I felt as if I had fallen in love. We talked everyday, he was the first person I talked to in the morning and last person I talked to before bed. We talked about our future and when we would be together. I had booked a trip back there for 3 weeks to spend Christmas with his family. He had started looking into work visas and jobs here. I was switching up a life I thought I'd always have for something so spontaneous and unexpected. For four months we talked everyday and skyped for up to 3 hours at a time. My infatuation with Klaus was not healthy but I was so sucked in that even if you told me how silly I was being I wouldn't have listened.
I'm not the type to listen when my mind is set on something. I've always been that way. I'm extremely driven to complete something I set my mind to. It's a good thing though because it teaches me Maybe I was trying to prove to myself that I could have the ultimate fairytale? Maybe it was because I was gullible and got sucked into words. Maybe it was the fact he lived in a different country which meant I had the possibility of another check on my bucket list, live in another country.
Long story short it didn't work out with Klaus and after I freaked out and realized how crazy it all was, he sent two final texts saying it won't work. He had a new girlfriend within a week.
Anyways, I'm thankful it happened because it taught me a lot and I will openly admit I have never been so heartbroken over something. Sounds silly but the pain I felt was not something I'm used to and as much as I tried it took me a bit to get back to my normal self. Normally I find the good in every situation, stay positive and live as if everyday is the best day of my life. I get excited and energized off little things and this heartbreak really shook me.
The reason it happened doesn't matter because it happened and that's how life works, things happen. You live life and things happen. You can't beat yourself up over something that happens, you simply learn from it. You can't go through life too careful or you'll never learn how you get up when your knocked down. That's what defines you.
December and January were adjusting back to figuring out where my life was going. I'm a planner and after thinking I was living out an unexpected plan, it took me a minute to get focused again. One of my best friend's Setahrae and I signed up for a yoga teacher certification that upcoming March-July. It's been a bucket list item for me and something I have always wanted to pursue. Having that in the future was exactly what I needed to get back to my normal self. I even took up a dating app as a way to meet more guys and get my mind off Klaus. It wasn't long before I realized just how many other fish in the sea there are. Life doesn't stop just because things don't go as planned. You have to find your rhythm again.
One of my goals for 26 was to finally move out of my parents house. My home life was great because my work had an office in my hometown and whenever I had the urge to travel I had that option. Not to mention my parents are the best roommates, so happy, loving, and fun all the time. I had no complaints living at home but it came to the point where I knew I needed to embark on a new chapter. I love the freedom that comes with living on your own and believe it's the ultimate learning experience for growing up.
I've been able to enjoy my 26th year of life exactly as I should be, meeting new people, trying new things and embarking on a new chapter. I made the move to San Francisco on March 2, 2014 and couldn't be happier with the decision. Its a magical experience that I have to continue to remind myself is real. It feels like getting a new chance to create my best life possible. Life is so cool because we always have the ability to change what we don't like or add in what we want. You have to be open to this idea and realize that fostering positive thoughts are the necessary tool for living out the best life possible. Negativity brings no good what so ever. Leave the judgement behind and accept anyone and everyone for who they are. Life is not easy by any means so there is no point in making it harder. Moral of it all; stay positive.
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| Russian Hill's newest resident. I feel beyond blessed waking up to this view every morning. |
Monday, April 22, 2013
Its about time I give an update!
Wow... Its been awhile since I've posted. I've always wanted to be a blogger but I can't say thats been the case. Its funny, because I always think about how much I want to write but just never do.
Where to even start... First and foremost I completed my goal of 25 countries by the age of 25! It was such a surreal moment to realize something I wanted for so long (15 years) really happened! Especially because obtaining this goal wasn't easy nor was it cheap!! But I did it and the best part, I funded my way through majority of it with a little help from my amazing family. My family wanted to see me reach my goal so I greatly fully appreciate all their support to get there. The last 4 countries were iffy for a awhile but thankfully, my friend Ashley talked some sense into a few months prior and pumped me up to accomplish my goal. That same friend flew to Canada with me for the weekend to hit country 2-5! (#25by25;))
^ I need to go into more detail about that trip and post pictures --- which I am promising myself I will do.
So something I've realized to be true again and again is.. If you follow your passion in life your journey will never fail to surprise you. (So whats holding you back?Do you do what you love?Are you satisfied?Are you passionate about what you do?) Because the answer should be "YES" and if its not... I would reevaluate because you're never going to be your happiest self if you aren't doing what you love.
It amazes me how blessed I have been in this life. I can honestly say I am living my dream life but I think a lot of the reason for it is because I have always followed passion. Unlike graduating and looking for a job.. I knew I wanted to travel and make my goal so while all my friends entered the real world, I continued as a nanny for a year while I traveled. After returning from my two month backing trip with my dad, I met my friends mom who was inspired by my love of traveling and invited me to go to Indonesia with Cisco for the Developing Local Talent in Technology Workshop. So after only being home for a month I was off again and was able to hit three more countries-- Indonesia, Singapore and Malaysia.
Anyways after returning home, I was invited to join my friends mom team with a group of MBA students for an internship for 3 months. My contract got extended 3 times and I have continued since. I truly feel like I landed my dream position.. Well maybe not my dream position but the area I am working in is where I've always wanted to work which is the non-profit part of a company specializing in CSR (corporate social responsibility). Knowing that the work I do helps others, gives me so much fulfillment each day.
Moral of the story -- I've always followed my passion for traveling and I couldn't be happier.
This also leads up to my latest opportunity which I will go into details about at a different time....
Where to even start... First and foremost I completed my goal of 25 countries by the age of 25! It was such a surreal moment to realize something I wanted for so long (15 years) really happened! Especially because obtaining this goal wasn't easy nor was it cheap!! But I did it and the best part, I funded my way through majority of it with a little help from my amazing family. My family wanted to see me reach my goal so I greatly fully appreciate all their support to get there. The last 4 countries were iffy for a awhile but thankfully, my friend Ashley talked some sense into a few months prior and pumped me up to accomplish my goal. That same friend flew to Canada with me for the weekend to hit country 2-5! (#25by25;))
^ I need to go into more detail about that trip and post pictures --- which I am promising myself I will do.
So something I've realized to be true again and again is.. If you follow your passion in life your journey will never fail to surprise you. (So whats holding you back?Do you do what you love?Are you satisfied?Are you passionate about what you do?) Because the answer should be "YES" and if its not... I would reevaluate because you're never going to be your happiest self if you aren't doing what you love.
It amazes me how blessed I have been in this life. I can honestly say I am living my dream life but I think a lot of the reason for it is because I have always followed passion. Unlike graduating and looking for a job.. I knew I wanted to travel and make my goal so while all my friends entered the real world, I continued as a nanny for a year while I traveled. After returning from my two month backing trip with my dad, I met my friends mom who was inspired by my love of traveling and invited me to go to Indonesia with Cisco for the Developing Local Talent in Technology Workshop. So after only being home for a month I was off again and was able to hit three more countries-- Indonesia, Singapore and Malaysia.
Anyways after returning home, I was invited to join my friends mom team with a group of MBA students for an internship for 3 months. My contract got extended 3 times and I have continued since. I truly feel like I landed my dream position.. Well maybe not my dream position but the area I am working in is where I've always wanted to work which is the non-profit part of a company specializing in CSR (corporate social responsibility). Knowing that the work I do helps others, gives me so much fulfillment each day.
Moral of the story -- I've always followed my passion for traveling and I couldn't be happier.
This also leads up to my latest opportunity which I will go into details about at a different time....
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